you may have noticed some changes in my blog. i have a new tagline. i've been talking about knitting. there are no pretty pictures of books.
i know i've eluded to a chronic illness for a long time. i've been afraid to get into specifics. but i haven't been posting because such a large part of my life is spent dealing with the illness. there's a huge hole in my online life, and it feels very odd not to talk about something i on which i spend so much energy. it's time to post.
i have bipolar disorder. it affects all areas of my life, but certainly creativity. at times it hinders the process and at other times the art keeps me sane. it's intertwined in my existence. there is a link between bipolar disorder and creativity. many artists are affected including virginia wolff, john keats and dale chihuly. here's a list.
i don't know if it's because my studio is freezing (still!), or i've lost my bookbinding mojo, or i can't concentrate; but i haven't made a book in months. i'm looking now for ways to be creative in other areas of my life. after a long break, i'm knitting again. i'm also enjoying cooking; making something new for john and me every week. soon there will be gardening.
i'm still a bookbinder. i'm still a polymer clay artist. i know it will come back. but right now i'm just doing the best i can and letting the creativity take me on different paths.
i've thought long and hard about this post. what will people think of me? will i lose the opportunity to teach because i'll be labeled mentally ill? there is such a stigma against mental illness. but in keeping quiet i wasn't doing anything to ameliorate the stigma.
i don't intend to talk about this much. but i needed to get it out. i needed to come out. i needed to begin to blog again about the other areas of my life.
i hope you'll stay with me.
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